Uncategorized

The Search for Joy

When I hear how frustrated people get with life, I interpret this as an absence of joy. Can joy and happiness be the same thing? I think joy is a much deeper emotion. Joy is that feeling you get when everything inside of you is jumping around … maybe that’s how the expression “leaping for joy” came to be. The spirit dances within with such delight and jubilance that even the dark forces in life feel manageable and acceptable.

I recently heard a story of how joy was discovered by a person as a result of a battle with cancer. I don’t understand this yet and hope to interview this individual some day. How can a person experience joy when living with such a terrible disease? Is it possible that through the lowest of lows a new awareness emerges that actually leads to this place called joy? Am I being a little melodramatic right now? Have I ever asked more questions in one Wisdom before? I can answer this one… No.

My hope for all who are reading this is to find the joy. You won’t find it in your checkbook, and you won’t find it with things. You will find it in helping others. When you approach your life in such a way where your work—what you do to make a living—is focused on enriching the lives of others, you will find joy. Enjoy these next few weeks of the holiday season. Joy to the world!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Start asking better questions.

Stop Judging and Start Accepting

We all have rules of engagement that are inside of us. You know, things we like and things we don’t like. In addition to these rules, we have a driving force that was programmed early on as to how we prefer to reach success. Our new About Me Card program reveals this, and it helps people understand these rules for others and shows them how to respect one another. The more I train companies on the program and the more I interact with people, the more major “ah ha’s” I experience.

Two things happened to me recently regarding this subject of judging and accepting. The first, I am helping a client write a book. In one of my interview sessions with him, he was discussing the topic of listening and used the term “compassionate emptiness.” This means to listen without preconceived judgment or offering solutions. It’s the art of simply listening to a person, not judging them and not gabbing on about how you would do something. Most people just want to be heard. Allow them to come up with their own solutions. I really liked that wisdom.

The second was I received an About Me Card from someone who I really do not understand. Her About Me Card had motivations that I cannot relate to at all. Up until a few days ago, I would judge these motivations as bad. I understand now that they may be bad to me but not to her. I decided to not question them but to accept them. I realized that this program is not designed for me to label someone’s motivations as good or bad. Rather, I may not understand and that’s OK. I can still choose to respect what I don’t personally understand.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Let’s not judge—let ’s choose to respect!

Spread Your Wings and Fly

I am going to share with you my thoughts on young adults (18-22). I must admit that I have not yet experienced this age group. However, I do have some wisdom that I will be living by that perhaps will speak to your heart. I have been on a very intense and adventurous journey on discovering happiness, and I have come to some realizations that I think are accurate. I’m sure I’ll hear from those of you who think I’m a little wacky here. Oh well, here goes …

I think we parents have preconceived notions of the perfect child before even starting a family. Once in awhile, especially if you have multiple children, you get lucky and the perfect kid is born. What I’ve realized, though, is that these kids are who they are! Leave them alone! I say this in the context of children who are not involved in drugs or alcohol. I’m talking about the typical young adult. In raising these children, you did your work and you shared your values. Now it’s up to them to live their lives. The programming will kick in eventually!

Let them make their mistakes. Let them make their choices. The only way we learn is through our mistakes. We forget what it was like when we were 20. After college I drove a school bus, was a professional gymnast (even though I couldn’t do a good cartwheel and never took a class in my life), performed on a cruise ship and co-started a dinner theater. My parents thought I was nuts (especially the tumbling thing). It’s been a great adventure. Let them go. Support, encourage and then go out to dinner with a friend and forget it. There’s nothing you can do anyhow. It’s not your place anymore.

That’s my plan anyway. We’ll see how it goes for me when the time comes. It’s five short years away. Yikes!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Have a meaningful conversation with a child today. Don’t ask about grades or what they’re doing. Ask them open-ended questions on their thoughts on stuff. Watch them open up.

Making Announcements Is NOT Training!

Today’s Wisdom on Wednesday comes from a longtime subscriber, Mike Bober of Oshkosh, Wis.

“I have noticed a mental mistake in our company recently. We think that announcing a change that management wants to make constitutes making the change. We expect office staff, technicians and others to just change their habits because we told them to do it. I have been challenging our system here with ‘Announcing is not TRAINING.’ If we expect others to change their behavior, we need to train them by giving information and then following up with practical support, enforcement, reinforcement and rewards. Merely announcing a change does not change anyone’s behavior. I’ll bet we are not the only management team around that has been mistaking announcements for effective training.”

Thank you, Mike! Wonderful insight here. I agree that management teams all over the globe mistake announcing a change to being effectively trained. It’s like telling someone, “You need to learn to swim.” A person needs to take lessons. They need to get in the water and practice. It helps to start with a float on your back. Tell me all you want but if you don’t teach me and show me, how am I to learn?

Thanks again, Mike, for allowing me to share your wisdom with our readers. You need to have systems and processes in place in order to produce change. It doesn’t happen overnight. Remember, no matter what change you’re starting, 10% will start rowing the boat right away, 80% will look around to see if anyone else is rowing and the remaining 10% will try drilling holes in the boat. There’s nothing you can do about it except to start rowing!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Change something today! Start simple: Rearrange the stuff on your desk, rearrange the furniture in your living room, or introduce a new meal at dinner that has never been tried. You can do it!

Introducing CHANGE!

This week I had the humbling task of strengthening understanding among nine men in a leadership team in Austin, Texas. These guys were just like you and me. They were trying to “figure it out” so to speak. Figure out business growth, both strategically and tactically, as well as better understand one another. I am always slightly nervous when entering into an About Me Card session with any group. I don’t know why, as it always ends up being enlightening for most everyone there. What I have realized, though, is how the initiation of change works with this program and any program that is newly introduced.

Imagine there is a big gutted-out wooden boat with many oars lying on the floor. When change like a new program is introduced, everyone is asked to step inside the boat. The boat is the meeting room or that presentation they’re “forced” to attend. Once the information is delivered, what usually happens is this: 10% of the crowd loves it and wants to get started right away. They pick up some oars off the floor and start rowing. They practice what was asked in the meeting, and it really connects with them. They see it working in their lives.

 Another 80% sit in the boat and look around to see who else is picking up oars. They are wondering, and some may be hoping, that this will go away. No big deal, they can just step out of the boat. Then there is the remaining 10% who sneak in a drill and try desperately to make holes in the boat. “Let’s sink this idea!” It’s always the same in every group. You can tell by how people talk. When I do this with a 10-person group, one of them will come back all fired up after doing the exercises. Eight will sit there and give some feedback. Some a little positive, perhaps, some a little negative, but nothing too far to the right or left. Then there is always one person who sends the message, “This is clearly a waste of time” or “It doesn’t work.”

 It’s this 10% who are the most adamantly opposed to ANY change. Remember this as you go out to change the world with something you may discover or feel is better than what already exists. Stay true to your beliefs and eventually you will experience breakthrough! When it comes to the About Me Program, have we broken through? Not quite yet, but the wall of resistance is sure starting to crumble!

 Joe Kiedinger

The Growing Bamboo

Someone told me about the Bamboo Tree and how it grows, and I felt it was a great metaphor for business. Apparently, the Bamboo Tree when first planted takes a long time to start growing. What happens are the roots are the first to grow into the soil. They grow to establish a healthy foundation to support this slim tall plant. When the roots are ready, the Bamboo Tree begins to grow at an alarming rate. I did some online research and this is what I found:

“Bamboo has an amazing growth rate. It is much like a telescope in its growth habit as it emerges. Its growth has been measured at almost four feet in a 24-hour period during the spring shooting period.”

If you’re in business for yourself or if you’re an innovator where you work, hang in there! When it comes to announcing a new brand within a brand, I tell my clients that all campaigns go through three phases. The first phase is creating overall awareness. The second phase is people starting to talk about it. The third is action. Hang in there. Not everyone is going to embrace or accept your idea. You must prove yourself. You will have early adopters who will get it and see your vision. Spend your time with these people. They will help spread the word to others. Go where the water is flowing. When you hit a rock (a “no” person), flow around it.

Be patient and you‘ll find your roots holding fast—and your Bamboo Tree beginning to grow at an alarming rate. I’m still growing my roots, but my plant is starting to sprout!

Joe

ACTION PLAN: Find three people of support this week!

Napoleon Hill, what a guy!

Napoleon Hill is an old business success author who wrote the book, Think and Grow Rich. He is the first to be quoted as saying, “What the human mind can see and believe, the human mind can achieve.” Walt Disney also believed in this way of thinking. I love dreaming up an idea and then taking small steps every day developing and nurturing it and sharing the idea with others.

Sometimes, though, I notice that when I meet people with great ideas they are afraid to share them with me. I find that these people never see their dreams or ideas take root because they are scared to plant the seeds. They think, “You’re going to steal my idea if I share it with you.” Hey, if you’re not going to share or implement your own ideas, what makes you think another person would? I find these people stifling their own ambition. Furthermore, I see people with great ideas who give up on them too soon. They think the first time they tell people about the idea it’s going to shoot off like a cannon. It doesn’t work that way. People need to hear an idea several times.

My suggestion to you is this: To know if your idea is solid, begin by explaining it to friends and family to see what they think. Then start sharing it with business associates and colleagues. What do they think? If a large number support your idea, then find opportunities to share with others you don’t know. By now you should have enough feedback to determine whether your idea could be marketed and sold. Next, begin sharing your idea with potential buyers. Spend time with those who resonate with it right away. Also, hear out those who disagree but don’t waste energy trying to convince them. Move on to those who give you a “yes”!

Every great idea has its day, but that day needs years of teaching and preaching before “the” day of breakthrough can happen. It’s your day … have at it!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Are you up for being great?

Life Is Amazing

It’s amazing the roller coaster ride this thing called Life is. Frank Sinatra had it right with his song, That’s Life … “You’re riding high in April, shot down in May. But I know I’m gonna change that tune, when I’m back on top in June.” In his book, Good to Great, Jim Collins talks about the flywheel. It’s the idea that we need to relentlessly push this big heavy flywheel over and over again until the momentum of our efforts gets that sucker to spin on its own. And when it starts spinning fast enough, you can’t stop it!

I’m sure you have feelings now and then about what you do and where your life is heading when you think, “I’m never getting ahead!” You just have to figure it out. We all have doubts once in awhile … but you know what, I find the thing that picks me up is when I spend time with people who support what I’m doing. That gets me refueled to go out and keep at it. I’m always reminded that today is rarely what confuses us. It’s the past, trying to change things we cannot; and the future, trying to predict what’s coming.

There is not greatness in not ever overcoming adversity. Seek and you shall find—and remember: The harder you work, the luckier you’ll get!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Seek and you shall find. Ask and you will receive.

Don’t Give Up!

These Wisdom on Wednesday articles truly are an archive of my professional and some of my personal life as well. It’s enjoyable for me to look back at past issues to bring myself back to where I was at the time. The first article was written in February 2004. By this February I will have written 364 articles. Pretty crazy, huh!? It’s funny because I had so many friends and family members question not so much my ability to write articles but my ability to consistently write articles.

Well, I’m still writing. Only one entry missed its Wednesday mark because of technical difficulties, but it got out on Thursday. Don’t give up. If you have a dream, don’t give up. Remember: You can alter your dream or bend the rules as you get older, but don’t let go. It reminds me of that Christmas special growing up. I think it was called, “Santa Clause Is Coming to Town.” There was a terrible snow wizard who crossed young Chris Kringle’s path. He turned out to be a good guy and he sang the song, “Put one foot in front of the other, and soon you’ll be walking across the floor. Put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking out the door.” The message is simple but clear. As an old Chinese proverb says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.”

Remind yourself of the almighty weapon to any dream: patience. Just start. Start with one small action and do something little each and every day to bring you closer to your goal, until one day you wake up and you are living it! Put one foot in front of the other…

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Start walking!

I believe that inspiration is all around us and it seems to hit us when we’re not even looking for it.

How many times have you seen a sign at a restaurant, read an article in a magazine, or met a person who just made you stop in your tracks and think, “Wow! I’ve never thought of it that way before”? I think we’ve all had these moments of clarity when we sort of reevaluate our lives and walk away feeling a little taller, a little wiser, and a lot more inspired.

Here’s a quote I ran across that might inspire you:

“The adventure of life is to learn. The purpose of life is to grow. The nature of life is to change. The challenge of life is to overcome. The essence of life is to care. The opportunity of life is to serve. The secret of life is to dare. The spice of life is to befriend. The beauty of life is to give.”
~ William Arthur Ward

This quote just screams “Servant Leadership” to me: learning, growing, changing, overcoming challenges. Caring about, serving, and giving to others. That’s what it’s all about! I’m feeling inspired, how about you?

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Pay attention to all that inspires you this week—you’ll be surprised!