Self Improvement

Feedback on Happiness!

A couple of weeks ago I wrote my Wisdom post on the root of happiness. I received some wonderful insights from several of our readers. I would like to dedicate this issue to the folks who took the time to offer their thoughts on the subject.

“What I have found is that happiness comes from within and then is reflected back to me in the appreciation and respect that I’m shown from the people around me. When I’m happy with what I am and what I’m experiencing right here, right now in this moment, I’m set up for happiness in this moment. And that tends to flow into the next moment. And the next. And the next. I find that the people who come into my life show me appreciation and respect because I appreciate and respect them. It is rare for me to encounter a rude person.

“Although I certainly experience challenges like most people do, I try to learn from them, let them go and move back toward what makes me feel happy. It’s a decision, an intention and a way of life. I don’t think happiness comes as a result of what happens; what happens comes as a result of happiness, or lack of it.”

Ann

“I just wanted to say I do enjoy your thoughts each Wednesday. I was going to add to your definition of happiness from today. I have found on my journey one of the big keys to ‘happiness’ is focusing on relationships. You can have a lot of money and fame and lots of toys, but if you don’t have great relationships you can be very unhappy. In the same way, I know people who don’t have lots of money and fame but who have great relationships and are super happy people.

“Keep up the great work,”
 
Marty

“See also www.octanner.com <http://www.octanner.com/>. They have coined the phrase ‘appreciatology’. I’ve run into them at HR seminars. Good stuff!

“Take care!!!”
 
Geri

Thank you, Ann, Marty and Geri for sharing additional insights and providing a resource to learn more. One thing is for sure: Appreciation is the one thing all of us want and all of us need to achieve happiness!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Give 5 people a genuine compliment and explain one or two things about them that you appreciate. Then be aware of not how they feel, but how that made you feel.

They’re 45 years old and retired!

Danica and I had a real treat of a weekend. Our babysitter watched our kids. We left Friday morning for St. Paul to visit my sister and brother-in-law. Those of you with kids I know you love’em but getting away alone is definitely welcomed every now and again. When I got home my seven-year-old said, “So Daddy, are your batteries charged up?” Aside from each of us suffering from a severe cold, we had a wonderful time. Saturday was picture perfect and the temperature was perfect at White Bear Lake, 20 minutes from St. Paul. My sister Kathy has a boat that she and her husband harbor there.

We spent the afternoon cruising around this clean, clear lake. Kathy pointed out a few mansion-like homes around the lake. She told us some of the stories that went with a few of them. Many of the stories went like this: “… that guy invented ‘X,’ sold the company and retired at 45.” Every story had a relatively young person inventing something and landing into a pile of money. I love hearing these stories. I love stories of an idea going big. It fires me up because I love entrepreneurship and everything that goes with it. However, I especially love the buildup to the sale. These stories when told by others typically leave out the part about entrepreneurs mortgaging everything they owned because of the dream. They don’t tell you about the years of sweat and tears … the immense amount of time talking to thousands of people until the idea gained momentum.

I love these “crawling stories.” You know, the stories of the early years. Where are you in your story? Are you patient in your pursuits? A person is like a fine wine. You can produce cheap wine pretty quick, or you can allow it to ferment and build your own flavor. Make sure you keep your eyes on the big picture. Have patience, be diligent and make a difference in whatever you do.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Practice patience. Write down three initiatives or relationships where you are going to practice patience.

Family Is Gold!

I’ve been on a quest for discovering the root of happiness over this past year. Don’t get me wrong, I see myself as a very happy person. My journey began by focusing on respect. It’s true that when a person feels respect and appreciation they feel a strong sense of happiness. I always knew that people who have been raised in loving families truly understand what happiness feels like. There is nothing stronger than a family’s bond to make a person feel great. This week I’m off to spend an entire week with my family, including all my brothers and sisters and their kids. What a blast! Many people I talk to, when they discover this annual huddle-up, respond with something like, “Really? A whole week with your family? Isn’t that stressful?” Not for our family.

Happiness can be discovered in other ways. There are many people who didn’t grow up in a supportive household who are now extremely happy. The reason for this is they found their purpose in life—something so many people are searching for well into their forties and some beyond that. When I hear a story of happiness it always revolves around serving others. People who are truly happy feel that what they are doing in life is a direct connection with making other people’s lives better. When we serve others in this way, we can’t help but feel good. Try it yourself sometime. The next time you’re feeling sorry for yourself, go volunteer somewhere or go next door and assist a neighbor with something. You will feel the dark cloud lift and “happy” will be the next emotion you feel.

It’s not rocket science. It’s common sense that we forget about this when we’re not serving others.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: What can you do right now to make a difference in another person’s life? Spend a little one-on-one time with a child? Take your spouse on a mystery date? Look to become a Big Brother or Sister?

Are you enriching lives?

I don’t care what industry you’re in, you should have one goal: Enrich the lives of others. Enrich the lives of your associates, customers and your community. It’s amazing what happens when this truly becomes your goal. Everyone has a higher purpose or wishes to find their higher purpose in life. How about this:
Your higher purpose is to enrich the lives of your co-workers, customers and the community, within the context of your core business. Whatever that business is just doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because every business consists of people. So if people are the common denominator, let’s serve them!

So what is the purpose of growth and profits? That’s simple. The more resources a company has, the more people can be enriched by them. Let’s face it, money makes great things happen and is the foundation of our employment needs. Here’s the deal: If you enrich the lives of your employees, the bottom line will go up. This is especially true if your motives to enrich their lives are sincere and not done because of the desire for more profits. Profits are the outcome of treating people well and guiding them to a higher purpose.
Dan Sanders in his book, Equipped to Lead, says “A person’s true legacy is the time and effort he or she contributed to enriching others.”

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Whose life will you make better today?

Breaking the mold!

Being an innovator and inventor, I find it exhilarating to go from the extreme of a person not understanding your new idea to the opposite which is completely embracing and even endorsing it. This has become my journey with The About Me Card program. This process for me has taken more than three years. Most people get frustrated and give up. They have a product or process that they know will be successful but when they are met with resistance they say, “Forget it!” I am not a patient person by nature. I am often antsy and uncomfortable when things are not moving fast enough. Then I realized, “Hey, I’m a human being! I can choose to be patient if I want to be.”

I know it seems impossible for some to be patient. I had to learn to be when it comes to others embracing a new concept or change. I’ve learned that the first meeting when presenting a new idea has the same weight as the last meeting, as this is when people decide to accept your idea because they fully understand it. If there were 100 meetings between them, they would all carry equal weight. People need to be reminded. You must not steal that process from them. Or more accurately, you can’t take it from them. It is what it is.

We all must learn on our own terms and for the “new idea person” that means patience and perseverance … That’s all! Hang in there long enough and you’ll be a star!

Joe Kiedinger

Action Plan:  Practice patience this week. Perhaps with just one person or one project. It’s necessary for success!

The Final Frontier

The human race has accomplished some pretty amazing things. We’ve landed on the moon and more recently have collaborated on a universal space station that is orbiting the planet with residents 365 days a year coming and going. Just imagine that! Sometimes our intelligence gets too big, though—like when we try to extract oil from a mile below the surface of the ocean. Our humility sinks as our intellect gets “too full of itself” and we don’t consider all the possibilities … and end up causing a Gulf of Mexico-like catastrophe.

How about physical challenges like overcoming a serious disease or raising millions for the poor? Yes, indeed, the human race is a powerful force. However, I feel there is a final frontier that we are collectively working hard to overcome and it’s communication. I’m not talking between countries—I’m talking between people. We simply do not understand where people are coming from! It becomes a “she said, he said” thing that we struggle with each day.

Listening is the key, not speaking. We often think, “How else could I have said that?” What‘s more to the point, though, is making sure our message has been understood by politely stating something to the effect of “If you could, please confirm what I said so I know I communicated clearly.” Then stop talking. Don’t interrupt and listen. Ask questions if you need to. I struggle with this every day, just like so many of you. Only through listening can compassion and understanding grow. I’m practicing it every day, especially with my kids. I need to stop talking and start listening.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Spend some one-on-one time with your kids today and ask them this question: What are 3 things I could start doing right now to be a better parent for you. Then LISTEN!

Initiative equals success!

Today’s wisdom comes from Dr. Zimmerman. You can find out more about this at www.DrZimmerman.com   He says that to reach big-time success a person needs to read a lot of books and work very hard. But if he had to summarize the root of success it would be those who initiate succeed. To initiate anything, you need two ingredients: Drive and Commitment!

He also shares two rules:

1. Do more than you are told, do more than is expected.
2. Discipline yourself to keep keeping on.

It’s important, he states, to discipline yourself to excellence so others don’t need to. Think about it for a moment. Look at the people you’ve promoted—haven’t they delivered to you more than you expected? They are self-driven and confident in finding their own solutions to challenges. This week begin your journey of being excellent.

REMINDER: For our La Crosse area fans, you’re invited to attend the About Me Card World Premiere in La Crosse tomorrow! It’s free! Come and see the debut of this new Servant Leadership software that creates understanding between people in minutes! Click on aboutmecard.com to find out more.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Find two things you are working on this week that you can do more with than what’s expected.

What is ‘normal’ anyway?

It’s funny… when you ask someone what “normal” is, you get a lot of different answers, especially when it comes to raising a family. I’ve been in conversations with people where normal is when the mom stays at home. I’ve heard normal means both parents are working. I’ve even heard normal as a “fend for yourself” upbringing. These folks defend their upbringing as if to say, “Everyone should be raised with absentee parents. It teaches you survival.”

You can turn on the TV to see any number of normal topics on Oprah or any of the other various talk shows. I remember as a kid watching the Phil Donahue Show when he had a group of “normal” men dressed up as babies living out an infancy fantasy. I’ve come to realize that “normal” is only a setting on my clothes dryer. So it’s no wonder there are miscommunication problems as we interact in everyday life. We all walk around sharing our version of “normal” with everyone, with some agreeing with us but many others ending up confused and in some cases responding with jaw-dropping disbelief to our views, as in “That’s normal to you? You must be wacked!” We are often judged and sometimes even fined before we can explain why something is our normal.

The reason we are so judgmental about others is because we pride ourselves on defending our idea of normal. We do this because if we don’t we may wake up one morning realizing we live in the land of abnormal and that is just too scary to fathom. I say let’s strive to understand each other’s normal so we can learn from one another. Let’s drop our radar of prejudgment and take the time to understand. That’s Servant Leadership in the home and in the workplace!

So one last question: Are you normal?

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Be who you are!

Respect is something you feel not something you see.

I just celebrated my 40th birthday this past weekend. Danica and I went to the House of Blues in Chicago for the Gospel Brunch. In the lobby, there was a sign that read, “Love is what you feel not what you see.” Servant Leadership defines the word “love” as a choice to respect another person. Love is not an emotion; it’s a choice to respect another person— even if they don’t deserve it because of their rude behavior or something they’ve inappropriately done.

Another sign I read there said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me!” That’s a lie … it truly is a lie. Words harm us much more than sticks and stones. Physical wounds heal rather quickly but emotional wounds run deep and sometimes words we say can never be taken back. I’m always looking for inspiration and the House of Blues didn’t let me down!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Be aware of the words you are using this week!

You’re invited this Tuesday!

Thank you for bearing with me. This past month I’ve been tying in my Wisdoms to the new About Me Card system we’ve invented. Well, the world premiere is this Tuesday, April 27th, at 3:00 p.m. at the Meyer Theater. It’s free and I hope you can make it. I received a real compliment from my wife today and I need to tell you about it! My parents just arrived home from Florida. When they left, we had just purchased a building to house About Me International and Prophit Marketing. They were anxious to see the remodeling and everything that went on while they were gone.

The old Joe would have met them at the building and showed off all the hard work. However, I remembered Danica’s About Me Card. On it she states, “Let’s enjoy this together.” I told my folks it would need to wait a day so Danica could join us. They called her to set the time, and when I got home from work she thanked me for that! Hey, I don’t know about you guys but these “points” are what I live for with my wife. Her About Me Card taught me how to respect her the way she wants to be respected. I love these little cards.

Please join us this Tuesday to witness the world premiere of this beautiful program.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN:  Join us!  Learn more at www.aboutmecard.com