Personal Growth

Are you a Bucker?

The term “bucker” typically brings to mind someone who is not paying his or her taxes or who goes against the status quo in general. Bucking something, though, is different from being a bucker. The bucker I’m talking about is someone who can be defined as a true bucker. Let me explain.
 
True buckers are people who defy the programming given to them by their fathers while growing up. For example, a child had a father who was constantly belittling and negative in his behavior toward others in the family.  This bad dad disrespected his wife on a regular basis and always put his needs above his family’s needs.
 
At some point, usually around 13-15 years of age, this child identifies this poor disrespect program and says to him or herself, “I will never be like him!” These children say this silently to themselves or directly to the parent. Buckers are some of the most successful people in the world.
 
They are successful because at a young age they had to identify poor programming and rewrite the rules for themselves, usually by simply doing the opposite of what the bad dad would do. Dad disrespects mom, so “bucker son,” as an example, marries and respects and cherishes his wife.
 
Are you a bucker? Did you receive poor programming growing up, identify it and then rewrite the book of your life? Can you share with me your “bucker moment”—the time when you realized you would not accept the current information you were receiving about life? I’d like to hear from you. You’re rare and oh so cool! I have the upmost respect for you.
 
Joe Kiedinger
 
ACTION PLAN: If you wish to learn more about the importance of good parenting and the role a mom and dad play in a child’s life, read Emotional Intelligence.

How you feel is your reality!

The marketing world tends to overly focus on this notion of perception. You may have heard, “What you perceive is what is real.” I say it’s not perception but feeling that shapes our world. Your best friend makes you feel great. Your favorite perfume makes you feel sexy. That BMW you finally bought makes you feel accomplished. That Rolex you rewarded yourself with makes you feel successful.

So if you agree with the above, then you agree that how you feel is the truth and therefore is your reality. Let’s think about this notion then. If you were to go to work fully understanding that how you make others feel directly effects your quality of life… would you do things differently?

I give you a 100% guarantee that when you go to work and support all those around you: clients, co-workers, support staff… your life will be transformed. The problem today is people don’t know how to lead and serve others. We are so absorbed with our needs, our wants and our inner child—enough already!

I’m keeping this Wisdom really short because the key to happiness is meeting the needs of others: at home, at work and in the community.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Get out of you for awhile.

Are you the crabby chairlift attendant at work?

Over the holiday, my family went skiing at our favorite Midwest ski destination. I grew up in a family of seven and skiing two weekends a month was the norm. My children run the gamut between experienced and beginners. Alex can snowboard with the best of them while my little girls are becoming masters of the bunny hill.

While my wife was manning the bunny hill, Alex and I decided to head for the summit. Our favorite ski hill has our favorite chairlift: a six-passenger, high-speed chairlift that gets us up lickety split! Because the hill was crowded that day, there was a “helper” attendant who counted off parties of six so the chair was always at full capacity. He would point to people and give them a number, “1-2-3-4-5-6… GO!”

Our first ride up had us positioned on the end (seats 5 and 6), and we didn’t know the attendant was there organizing the lines. We prematurely approached the loading corral before he yelled “go” and as a result we were not properly counted. By the time we realized what had happened, we had managed to back up the line a bit. Crabby (that’s what Alex and I now call him) approached us and said, “I get paid to work here and I don’t like coming out here and counting these lines!”

Alex looked at me and asked, “What does that mean?” Crabby was obviously trying to reprimand us but didn’t know how to articulate his chastising clearly. I told Alex, “I think it means he doesn’t like his job.”

Are you the crabby chairlift attendant where you work? Do you dread going to work? Do you let everyone know it? Believe me when I tell you that you’re not doing anyone any favors by bringing your negativity to work every day—especially yourself!

When you enjoy what you do, you never work another day in your life. I’ve learned that your attitude brings true joy to any job. In my life I’ve been employed as a city lawn maintenance worker, school bus driver, beverage sampler at grocery stores, gymnastics and choir instructor to little kids, and as a dinner theater director and performer. I enjoyed all of these jobs and dedicated myself to being the best employee and contributor that I could at each one.

I know what it’s like to have jobs that you know are not going to be your life’s calling. However, whether you signed up to be a bus driver or a marketing director, you’ve committed yourself to do your best and along with giving your best is bringing a positive attitude to work each day. I applaud all of you who have a positive attitude at work and who focus on your jobs with maximal energy and commitment. I believe it’s the key to a life of happiness and fulfillment.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN:  Find your purpose today in what you’re doing.

How many Susan Boyles do you have?

Last week I spoke to a local health care organization. The topic was on leadership. In traditional Road Show style, the audience laughed its way to learning. We had a lot of fun that day and I did something I’ve never tried before: I accessed the Internet to make a point.

I began the session by challenging the group to be leaders and not managers. There are far too few leaders in America today. The top four attributes of a great leader as stated by employees are: Credibility, Trustworthiness, Vision and Inspiration.

Inspirational leadership should be the goal of every leader. Inspiration has little to do with style. There are quiet and charismatic leaders who inspire in their own way. The rule of inspiration comes from getting to know the strengths of the people you lead. Take an active interest in them and inspire them to greatness every day.

During the Road Show, I shared a real life example of greatness unleashed by Googling “Susan Boyle.” If you haven’t already, please try this. Susan Boyle is a plain Jane who showed up on the TV show “Britain’s Got Talent.” Everyone judged her by her appearance, but when she opened her mouth to sing everyone stopped judging and was blown away.

I shared this with my audience and then asked the question, “How many Susan Boyles are there in your departments?” Talented, wonderful individuals who just need to be understood and supported. How many do you have? Do you judge them from the cover or do you take the time to understand them?

Stop managing and start inspiring. There is no greater feeling than when employees tell you their life is better because you are in it!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Google Susan Boyle!

What assumptions are you using for excuses?

I think assumptions are used by people to create excuses. It makes me sad to think about the number of brilliant people with brilliant ideas who simply dream and then go to sleep with their ideas. I hear all kinds of excuses using antiquated assumptions. Statements like: I’m too young. I’m too old. No one will like this. I’m too busy. I don’t have the money to make it happen… blah, blah, blah.

I just read in our local paper about a 13-year-old girl who raised $5,000 in a few weeks. Her cause was to help families build farms overseas. Amazing! If you haven’t heard about Johnny the Bagger… Google him. You will discover a young man with Down syndrome who transformed the experience at a grocery store.

Men and women, young and old, are doing exceptional things in ordinary ways. They simply take action and do something small each day to reach their goal. They do it with a shoestring budget, they do it with kids at home, they do it in retirement – they do it, they do it, and they do it! See a theme here?

So what idea or dream do you have? I learned a healthy exercise from a colleague of mine: Create an Action Plan and start by making a list. On the top I want you to put your idea or dream. Then I want you to list all the excuses and assumptions that you have told yourself as to why you can’t begin working on it today. When your list is complete, find the nearest shredder and SHRED IT! Then create a new list with a timeline of what you CAN do today to push your ideas forward.

There is no adventure in waiting. Do it now and let the adventure begin!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Shred it!

National Day of Listening in America

Did you know Nov 27th was The National Day of Listening in America? The event encourages everyone to take one hour of the day to interview someone of importance to them—and record it. What a great idea! Have you ever wished you knew more about your family and friends who have passed away? Maybe you feel like you lost out on an opportunity to really understand them and pass their stories and knowledge on to others.

You know what? It’s never too late! Pledge to let aside an hour of your day and ask a grandparent, parent, friend, sibling, cousin some hard-hitting questions like:
• What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
• What are you most proud of?
• What was the happiest day in your life?

The exercise will not only leave you feeling more connected with this important person in your life, but you’ll also practice your listening skills. Skills you can and need to sharpen for use in both your personal and work life.

So grab that tape recorder or video camera and ask away!

Thank you, Dad, on your 75th birthday!

It’s my dad’s birthday today and I am with him. I hope as you read this the temperatures are in the 80s with no rain in sight. Yes, we’re in Florida for the annual family trip. I am one lucky guy to grow up with a dad like the one I got. He taught me morals, personal integrity and commitment.

These three gifts were the best things a father could give a child. It’s funny, though, about how gifts work. When I look back, I don’t have too many of the physical gifts he and mom gave me over the years. I’ve either outgrown them or they weren’t built to last very long. However, the gifts of integrity, moral character and commitment are ones that will last forever.

I know I will never be exactly like my dad, but I will always strive to be more like him. It’s these gifts he gave me that my own wife and children are benefiting from. If you’re as fortunate as me to have a father who was fair, took an active interest in your life and treated you as a unique person… you are truly blessed.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Tell someone how you feel today.

Mentors Are Everywhere

I’ve had the privilege of interviewing successful entrepreneurs, and one thing I’ve found with all of them is they’ve all had mentors in their lives. Mentors who have walked in their shoes, and who have felt the wisdom of defeat and the thrill of expected and sometimes unexpected victory. All of these successful business people have told me stories about their mentors and what they learned.

I wrote on this subject about two months ago and had a subscriber e-mail me and ask, “Joe, how do I go about finding a mentor?” While listening recently to a new CD on leadership, I realized that mentors are everywhere and their messages can come in many forms, such as books, CDs and face-to-face interaction. Listening to this leadership program I realized the mentors in my life include individuals like Anthony Robbins, Dale Carnegie, Jim Collins, Stephen Covey, Nelson Mandela and Michael Gerber, and the list could go on and on.

These are all people who I have never met but who have changed the way I look at things. The right book at the right time can change your life. When I was young, I needed to hear the Personal Power inspiration from Anthony Robbins. Later when I started my career, I was interested in processes and growing a business and relied on wisdom from Gerber, Collins and Carnegie. My current journey has me focusing on leadership ideas from Mandela, Lincoln and Covey. I also have a host of mentors who I actually talk to as well!

If you’re going to lead you’ve got to read! There are great books on CDs and other audio programs that you can listen to in your car or on your iPod. I just heard a quote that reads (and I’m paraphrasing here): “It’s just as bad not to be able to read as it is being able to read and deciding not to.”

It’s so much easier to be successful when you have help along the way. If you need a source to begin your journey, visit www.mondaymm.com (Monday Mastermind). Good luck and good reading!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Ask for recommendations from business people you respect about books and programs to help get you started on your journey.

Getting Paid to be a Jerk!

Have you seen the reality TV show, Hell’s Kitchen with Head Chef Gordon Ramsay? Well the premise of the show (and I’ll only tell you what I know because I don’t waste my time watching it) is young apprentice chefs work under this “renowned chef” (I’ve never heard of him before). He screams and yells at them to cook things right.

I don’t see how people can watch that stuff. Perhaps it’s because they think, “Yeah, it’s not me!” I wonder what his turnover rate is at his restaurant? This is a perfect example of a person leading with power: “Do it this way or else!” Leadership by power is the most common approach by many executives. The problem is you don’t get too many seasons out of a person with this approach.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got better things to do than be yelled at all day. Leadership by authority is the ticket in today’s workplace. Can you inspire and have associates willingly follow you because of how you lead? Work at it; work hard at it because how you make others feel in your presence is the essence of growing your paycheck and your status within organizations you serve.

Do you think the president would raise someone up to senior management if he or she didn’t “feel” something about that person? They must “feel” confident about that person in order to entrust them to such a high position.

Become the boss you wish your boss was. Become the friend you wish your friends were. Lead with authority, not power, and look out! Oh the places you’ll go!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Go to Amazon.com and check out the book The Brander-In-Chief and start your journey today!

Hope Still Radiates in a Recession!

I had the honor of speaking at a United Way kickoff breakfast earlier this week. I was asked to “inspire the crowd”. I opened up the 70-minute event, of which I took up 30 minutes, and then sat down feeling pretty good. However, it was the second half of the event that was truly inspiring.

No less than eight companies were asked to come up to the front to present their 2008 donations (which were raised by their employees). These companies are called “pacesetters” and together raised over $300,000! Amazing! It wasn’t just from people contributing a little from their paychecks each month, but it also included stories of employee fundraising events like car washes and bake sales.

What’s better yet, the donations raised exceeded the previous year’s figures! During a time of massive layoffs, these companies raised even more money! That is what’s truly inspiring. The United Way really does touch so many people’s lives. I was honored to be a part of this event.

It really goes to show that great things can happen when people LIVE UNITED!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: It’s important to support a cause. Do you have one? Please, if you currently do not have a cause… find one.