Life

The Momentum Is Building!

Yesterday I had the privilege of spending the day with Viterbo University professors Thomas Thibodeau and Richard Kyte. Tom is the director of the Servant Leadership Masters program and Rick is the head of the Ethics Program. They shared with me the exciting and inspirational stories of companies that truly care about the individuals in their care. Together we dreamed of creating a Servant Leadership consciousness that permeates local government, education and business. Can you imagine? Every person out to serve the legitimate needs of those around them?

Thibodeau and Kyte shared with me a couple dozen stories of business leaders wanting to make a positive impact in the lives of their employees. It was truly an inspiring conversation. We are bombarded with the media telling us how bad education is, how bad health care is and how we should be angry with government. At the end of the day, most of us can only truly rely on one thing and that is how are WE doing in serving others? How are WE making a positive impact in the lives of those around us?

Recently I wrote about the power of Buckers. These are people who were given a poor parenting model by their fathers growing up. However, they made the decision to not accept this poor model and to create their own which leads to a better life. I am now asking all of you who read this to Buck the media programming that has been so draining on public morale. I know times are tough now for so many, but what can you do right now to make another’s life better? Do not accept how BAD things are—instead focus on the GOOD that is happening in the world. I want to thank Tom and Rick for recharging my batteries of hope. I was reminded that I am not alone on this journey. Others are riding the same bus!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Find the good in today!

Are you a Bucker?

The term “bucker” typically brings to mind someone who is not paying his or her taxes or who goes against the status quo in general. Bucking something, though, is different from being a bucker. The bucker I’m talking about is someone who can be defined as a true bucker. Let me explain.
 
True buckers are people who defy the programming given to them by their fathers while growing up. For example, a child had a father who was constantly belittling and negative in his behavior toward others in the family.  This bad dad disrespected his wife on a regular basis and always put his needs above his family’s needs.
 
At some point, usually around 13-15 years of age, this child identifies this poor disrespect program and says to him or herself, “I will never be like him!” These children say this silently to themselves or directly to the parent. Buckers are some of the most successful people in the world.
 
They are successful because at a young age they had to identify poor programming and rewrite the rules for themselves, usually by simply doing the opposite of what the bad dad would do. Dad disrespects mom, so “bucker son,” as an example, marries and respects and cherishes his wife.
 
Are you a bucker? Did you receive poor programming growing up, identify it and then rewrite the book of your life? Can you share with me your “bucker moment”—the time when you realized you would not accept the current information you were receiving about life? I’d like to hear from you. You’re rare and oh so cool! I have the upmost respect for you.
 
Joe Kiedinger
 
ACTION PLAN: If you wish to learn more about the importance of good parenting and the role a mom and dad play in a child’s life, read Emotional Intelligence.

Frank Sinatra was right on!

“That’s life, that’s what all the people say. You’re riding high in April shot down in May…” Ah yes, the immortal words of the legendary Frank Sinatra. I don’t know about you but sometimes I can feel defeated and sorry for myself. And then, like some imaginary friend, good news finds its way to me and I’m high on life! I’ve grown to truly appreciate my down times and high times. Many people like to live somewhere in the middle. I’m not one to celebrate extreme highs or extreme lows; however, how cool does it feel when things are really cranking!

How does it feel to you when things are really heading south? I find that the greatest joys and accomplishments come out of these low points when you challenge yourself to figure out a way to take a perceived negative situation and turn it into a positive outcome. I mean, what glory is there in muddling along through life in the middle? No real highs and no real lows? It’s numbing is what it is.

Celebrate your victories and your defeats for it’s out of the latter that the former are so much sweeter!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: If you’re on a low, figure it out. If you’re on a high, enjoy it while it lasts! It’s a fun ride… WEEEE!

How you feel is your reality!

The marketing world tends to overly focus on this notion of perception. You may have heard, “What you perceive is what is real.” I say it’s not perception but feeling that shapes our world. Your best friend makes you feel great. Your favorite perfume makes you feel sexy. That BMW you finally bought makes you feel accomplished. That Rolex you rewarded yourself with makes you feel successful.

So if you agree with the above, then you agree that how you feel is the truth and therefore is your reality. Let’s think about this notion then. If you were to go to work fully understanding that how you make others feel directly effects your quality of life… would you do things differently?

I give you a 100% guarantee that when you go to work and support all those around you: clients, co-workers, support staff… your life will be transformed. The problem today is people don’t know how to lead and serve others. We are so absorbed with our needs, our wants and our inner child—enough already!

I’m keeping this Wisdom really short because the key to happiness is meeting the needs of others: at home, at work and in the community.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Get out of you for awhile.

Are you the crabby chairlift attendant at work?

Over the holiday, my family went skiing at our favorite Midwest ski destination. I grew up in a family of seven and skiing two weekends a month was the norm. My children run the gamut between experienced and beginners. Alex can snowboard with the best of them while my little girls are becoming masters of the bunny hill.

While my wife was manning the bunny hill, Alex and I decided to head for the summit. Our favorite ski hill has our favorite chairlift: a six-passenger, high-speed chairlift that gets us up lickety split! Because the hill was crowded that day, there was a “helper” attendant who counted off parties of six so the chair was always at full capacity. He would point to people and give them a number, “1-2-3-4-5-6… GO!”

Our first ride up had us positioned on the end (seats 5 and 6), and we didn’t know the attendant was there organizing the lines. We prematurely approached the loading corral before he yelled “go” and as a result we were not properly counted. By the time we realized what had happened, we had managed to back up the line a bit. Crabby (that’s what Alex and I now call him) approached us and said, “I get paid to work here and I don’t like coming out here and counting these lines!”

Alex looked at me and asked, “What does that mean?” Crabby was obviously trying to reprimand us but didn’t know how to articulate his chastising clearly. I told Alex, “I think it means he doesn’t like his job.”

Are you the crabby chairlift attendant where you work? Do you dread going to work? Do you let everyone know it? Believe me when I tell you that you’re not doing anyone any favors by bringing your negativity to work every day—especially yourself!

When you enjoy what you do, you never work another day in your life. I’ve learned that your attitude brings true joy to any job. In my life I’ve been employed as a city lawn maintenance worker, school bus driver, beverage sampler at grocery stores, gymnastics and choir instructor to little kids, and as a dinner theater director and performer. I enjoyed all of these jobs and dedicated myself to being the best employee and contributor that I could at each one.

I know what it’s like to have jobs that you know are not going to be your life’s calling. However, whether you signed up to be a bus driver or a marketing director, you’ve committed yourself to do your best and along with giving your best is bringing a positive attitude to work each day. I applaud all of you who have a positive attitude at work and who focus on your jobs with maximal energy and commitment. I believe it’s the key to a life of happiness and fulfillment.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN:  Find your purpose today in what you’re doing.

What assumptions are you using for excuses?

I think assumptions are used by people to create excuses. It makes me sad to think about the number of brilliant people with brilliant ideas who simply dream and then go to sleep with their ideas. I hear all kinds of excuses using antiquated assumptions. Statements like: I’m too young. I’m too old. No one will like this. I’m too busy. I don’t have the money to make it happen… blah, blah, blah.

I just read in our local paper about a 13-year-old girl who raised $5,000 in a few weeks. Her cause was to help families build farms overseas. Amazing! If you haven’t heard about Johnny the Bagger… Google him. You will discover a young man with Down syndrome who transformed the experience at a grocery store.

Men and women, young and old, are doing exceptional things in ordinary ways. They simply take action and do something small each day to reach their goal. They do it with a shoestring budget, they do it with kids at home, they do it in retirement – they do it, they do it, and they do it! See a theme here?

So what idea or dream do you have? I learned a healthy exercise from a colleague of mine: Create an Action Plan and start by making a list. On the top I want you to put your idea or dream. Then I want you to list all the excuses and assumptions that you have told yourself as to why you can’t begin working on it today. When your list is complete, find the nearest shredder and SHRED IT! Then create a new list with a timeline of what you CAN do today to push your ideas forward.

There is no adventure in waiting. Do it now and let the adventure begin!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Shred it!

National Day of Listening in America

Did you know Nov 27th was The National Day of Listening in America? The event encourages everyone to take one hour of the day to interview someone of importance to them—and record it. What a great idea! Have you ever wished you knew more about your family and friends who have passed away? Maybe you feel like you lost out on an opportunity to really understand them and pass their stories and knowledge on to others.

You know what? It’s never too late! Pledge to let aside an hour of your day and ask a grandparent, parent, friend, sibling, cousin some hard-hitting questions like:
• What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
• What are you most proud of?
• What was the happiest day in your life?

The exercise will not only leave you feeling more connected with this important person in your life, but you’ll also practice your listening skills. Skills you can and need to sharpen for use in both your personal and work life.

So grab that tape recorder or video camera and ask away!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

This is the one week out of every year that I keep it really, really simple: Thank you for subscribing to Wisdom on Wednesday. I hope my words have touched you and helped you to grow.
 
Here is a Thanksgiving poem I found. Enjoy.

Joe Kiedinger
 
TWAS the night of Thanksgiving, and I just couldn’t sleep
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep

The leftovers beckoned, the dark meat and white
But I fought the temptation, with all of my might

Tossing and turning with anticipation
When the thought of a snack became infatuation

So I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore

I gobbled up turkey, and buttered potatoes
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes

I felt myself swelling, so plump and so round
‘till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground

I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
With a mouthful of dressing, and a handful of pie

But I managed to yell, as I soared past the trees
Happy eating to all, skip the cranberries please

May your dinner be tasty, may your belly be plump
May your potatoes and gravy have not even one lump

May your veggies be delicious and your pies take the prize
May your thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs!

Thank you, Dad, on your 75th birthday!

It’s my dad’s birthday today and I am with him. I hope as you read this the temperatures are in the 80s with no rain in sight. Yes, we’re in Florida for the annual family trip. I am one lucky guy to grow up with a dad like the one I got. He taught me morals, personal integrity and commitment.

These three gifts were the best things a father could give a child. It’s funny, though, about how gifts work. When I look back, I don’t have too many of the physical gifts he and mom gave me over the years. I’ve either outgrown them or they weren’t built to last very long. However, the gifts of integrity, moral character and commitment are ones that will last forever.

I know I will never be exactly like my dad, but I will always strive to be more like him. It’s these gifts he gave me that my own wife and children are benefiting from. If you’re as fortunate as me to have a father who was fair, took an active interest in your life and treated you as a unique person… you are truly blessed.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Tell someone how you feel today.

Uncharted Waters

Why didn’t I take it slow the second time? Alex, my 13 year-old, just received his boating license this summer. Over the 4th of July holiday he was with his buddy on our 18-foot runabout when the propeller hit a rock. Luckily he was going very slow so there was no damage done to the propeller and the engine. Alex warned me of the spot and pointed it out.

Later, and pulling a water-skier, I headed right into that rock at 35 mph. Guess what? Damage! And lots of it! $1,600 later I had my beautiful boat back. Fast forward to our trip up north this last Labor Day weekend…we decided to navigate the Wisconsin River. This water we have never navigated. Alex wanted to go skiing and so I pulled him on a stretch of water that was calm and had no traffic.

I learned why that was…BAM! Up went my motor again. I immediately stopped the boat and looked back. There was a large tree trunk that floated to the surface, tumbled a bit, and sank. Whew, luckily there was no damage! Apparently soggy, floating wood is more forgiving than rocks. How could I make that same mistake twice?

We do this in business as well. The water looks safe so we dive in and get to it. Then, BAM, we hit a rock, that unforeseen but predictable hazard that, in hindsight, could have been avoided had we done a little research and navigated more slowly.

I do believe there are times when you need to jump in, do it, and then fix it. However, there are times when slowing down and taking your time is a good thing. Stop banging your engine (and your resources) around. Be wise: navigate and chart your destiny!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Slow down, think, and evaluate.